An Caladh · Co. Kerry
Smallest village on the Kerry coast, biggest tourist export - the boat to Skellig Michael.
Portmagee is a coloured row of houses along a pier, a bridge across to Valentia Island, and not much else. Two hundred and fifty people, give or take. One main street. The whole village walks in five minutes. And yet the harbour pushes more tourists out to sea per square metre than anywhere else in Kerry - because the boat to Skellig Michael leaves from this pier, and there is no other proper way to get there.
The trick is the weather. The Skellig boats are small open RIBs and licensed launches. They cross twelve kilometres of open Atlantic. Swell over two metres and they don't sail. Half the trips don't go. Locals tell you to book two mornings in a row and accept that one will be a write-off. The Bridge Bar will pour you a consolation pint and the Skellig Chocolate Factory will give you a free tasting and you will tell yourself the rock will still be there next year.
When the boats do go, it is the trip of an Irish lifetime. A sixth-century monastery on a sea-stack. Puffins on the path in summer. The corner where Mark Hamill stood looking grim in The Force Awakens. You climb six hundred unfenced stone steps the monks cut by hand and you come back down quieter than you went up.