An Caisleán Nua · Co. Down
Where the mountains of Mourne sweep down to the sea - and the Belfast day-trippers sweep in for a 99.
Newcastle is two towns occupying the same postcode. The seafront one is a Victorian-Edwardian resort that has been doing the same job for 130 years - ice cream, amusements, fish and chips, a long flat beach, the Slieve Donard Hotel sitting at the south end like a red-brick exclamation mark. The Belfast crowd come down in convoy on a Sunday in July and the chippers run out of cod by four. That part of Newcastle is exactly what it looks like.
The other Newcastle is the one with its back to the sea and its eyes on the mountain. Donard Park is a five-minute walk from the promenade and the trailhead onto Slieve Donard begins there. From the car park you climb through Donard Wood beside the Glen River - a working torrent that hauls boulders down the mountain in spate - and you come out above the trees on the open hill, with the Mourne Wall running ahead of you to a cairn the Neolithic put up five thousand years ago. That walk is the reason a town of 8,000 has a hotel that takes royal visits.
Tollymore Forest Park sits four kilometres up the road at Bryansford. It was the first state forest park in Northern Ireland - opened in 1955 - and the arboretum behind that goes back to 1752. Game of Thrones filmed the haunted forest and the Wolfswood here in Season 1, which means there are stickers on the cars in the car park. The trees were impressive before HBO arrived. They still are.
Come for a Tuesday in May, not a Sunday in August. Walk Donard before the cloud lowers. Eat in town once and in Tollymore once. Skip the seafront tat unless that's exactly the day you want. Newcastle is a real mountain town with a real resort strapped to its front, and the trick is knowing which one you've come for.